Epic Weapons, known widely for its production of video game weapon replicas, recently announced that a life-size recreation of the Saints Row: The Third Penetrator will be going on sale February 10th, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

penetrator cupidFor those who are unfamiliar, the Penetrator is a giant purple dildo that functions as a melee weapon. Arguably one of the best weapons in the game, it can explode a car (amongst other things) in just five or six strikes or thrusts. The Penetrator’s total length is a whopping three feet. The hilt is approximately seven inches, the shaft about twenty-eight, and the head is about two. The total girth is approximately three inches. Those interested in giving their man or lady a “little” something special this Valentine’s Day should act fast; the Penetrator is limited to 669 models at the very acceptable price of $69.99 USD.

Billy Slowmeat

Billy Slowmeat

Billy is the video game journalist of our generation. For Billy, there is no lead too tough to follow…no story too daunting to expose. Billy lives to do one thing: report. Hell, the son of a bitch gets off on it.
Billy Slowmeat