Hitler Playing Pinball
A little-known fact about Hitler was for his love of gaming. Every Sunday he’d take all the reichsmark he’d saved down to the local Spielhalle and play his favorite pinball machine: Lethal Weapon 3. Upon running out of reichsmark, Hitler was known to say: “I’m too old for diese scheisse!” He held the top score for over two years, and is thought to be the first person to use the initials “ASS.”

 

Casey Anthony Playing Sims Nightlife
Casey Anthony. Before the night that would get her sent to court, Anthony had built a tiny, pixilated version of herself in the Sims 2: Nightlife. A virtual partygoer named Roxy. As the months passed, Casey had developed a jealous rivalry with her second self. Why did Roxy get to have all the fun? Roxy had a boyfriend: a fine gentlemen named Peter. It just wasn’t fair. Peter had a nice car, a high-paying job, expensive suits, and he understood what it took to show a lady a good time. What got to Casey the most was that Roxy’s sex life with the man she wanted for herself was utterly outstanding, while she was stuck at home in the dark, alone, held to the boring task of caring for a child.

 

Joseph Stalin Mario Party 9
This photo of Joseph Stalin was taken the morning after a slumber party with his Soviet buds. Having obtained the most Mini Stars in Mario Party 9 the night before, Joseph was captured writing about his victory in a letter addressed to his mother, Keke.

 

Unbeknownst to many, the late Christopher Hitchens once fabricated a version of the Bible and replaced the original text with story excerpts pulled from the instructional booklets of numerous Mario games. He delivered the book to the doorstep of the Phelps family, planning to conduct his own religious experiment. For years Hitchens took detailed notes of his observations; however, he passed before he was able to piece together his findings. Ironically, the man had created a new religion via the Phelps: Nintendism. The religion has since been stolen from the Phelps by gamers. Followers have been known to brag that their god, the Jumping Italian Plumber, eats the Flying Spaghetti Monster for breakfast.
Unbeknownst to many, the late Christopher Hitchens once fabricated a version of the Bible and replaced the original text with story excerpts pulled from the instructional booklets of numerous Mario games. He delivered the book to the doorstep of the Phelps family, planning to conduct his own religious experiment. For years Hitchens took detailed notes of his observations; however, he passed before he was able to piece together his findings. Ironically, the man had created a new religion via the Phelps: Nintendism. The religion has since been stolen from the Phelps by gamers. Followers have been known to brag that their god, the Jumping Italian Plumber, eats the Flying Spaghetti Monster for breakfast.
Billy Slowmeat

Billy Slowmeat

Billy is the video game journalist of our generation. For Billy, there is no lead too tough to follow…no story too daunting to expose. Billy lives to do one thing: report. Hell, the son of a bitch gets off on it.
Billy Slowmeat