“You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?”

It’s not just an important quote in the plot of Tim Burton’s Batman, it is also Dallas Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones’ go-to Tinder question (unofficially). Arlington, Texas debuted a 1.3 billion-dollar throbbing erection creatively named “Cowboys Stadium” in May of 2009. Since the unveiling of this football SkyLab, the Cowboys have not had much luck. The arena, now appointed “AT&T Stadium,” has been a plague of injuries and deceit and it seems that, although aptly named, America’s team (can we stop calling them this?) has been on hold without a rollover plan.

Quarterback Tony Romo has broken his collarbone more times than El Chapo has plumbed his way out of Mexican prison, Dez Bryant has had the majority of two of his seasons wiped out by foot and ankle injuries, and let’s not forget….the MILLIONS (and millions) of broken-hearted Dallas fans.

Fast-forward to 2016 and AT&T Stadium hosting WrestleMania 32. Since the third installment held at the Pontiac Silverdome, Vince McMahon has been trying to beat the all-time attendance record set in 1987. I believe that this year’s “grandest stage of them all” will beat the 93,173 that the WWE has been chasing after, but it is not without a cost. You see, Jerry Jones is the human version of W.W. Jacobs’ “The Monkey’s Paw.” All he has ever wanted was a championship in the Arlington-based mothership. On April 3, 2016 (at WrestleMania) he will see that through and I predict that it will be the only time gold is held high in this stadium.

Unfortunately, Jerry’s desire for a championship and Vince’s ambitious hunger for a record attendance have created a plague of roster destruction from the time when the press conference was held back in January 2015. Allow me to give you a bullet point rundown of what has transpired since that fateful day.

  • Samoa Joe almost kills Tyson Kidd with a Muscle Buster. Tyson survived, but his career is indefinitely questionable.
  • Randy Orton suffers a rotator cuff injury while taking out the garbage. This was an actual bag of trash; not the Ascension.
  • John Cena tears a rotator cuff as well. He was ruled out for WrestleMania, but his fabric accessories say “Never Give Up,” so I’m sure that he has trained to be a part of the show in some capacity.
  • Seth Rollins nearly ends Sting’s livelihood. Fortunately, Steve Borden was in great shape and his neck was strong enough to take the impact of a botched turnbuckle powerbomb.
  • Seth Rollins destroys his leg during an untelevised event against Kane. This was a HUGE blow to the WWE, as Rollins was the champion and was carrying the product and himself to higher levels.
  • Nikki Bella requires neck surgery.
  • Cesaro tears a rotator cuff. WHAT? The hex seems to have a penchant for damaging the shoulder/clavicle area. He was probably the hottest superstar before this injury. He will miss WrestleMania.
  • Daniel Bryan is forced to retire! This spell is just soulless.
  • Adrian Neville breaks his shin and ankle. This news came to light just before we were about to post this article. Take your rosaries to WrestleMania.

There are a few minor occurrences that may also fall under the umbrella of this black cloud. We had a very insipid title run by Sheamus, followed by a super bland punch when Roman reigned. The Edge and Christian Show may also be a factor of this curse.

I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but that is some heavy evidence that may support the notion that the alliance between the Chief of the WWE and the Duke of Dallas could possibly be more poisonous than the run that the NWO had in the WWE. I’m afraid that the jinx has one more big undertaking before WrestleMania becomes an afterthought.

Steren Logspon

Steren Logspon

For over 15 years, Steren has made a professional living out of playing with knives and fire. After attaining many certifications, he has transitioned this venture into an adult babysitting program. He calls it: "kitchen management."
Steren Logspon

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