According to recent blog posts by George R.R. Martin, he has delayed his next book The Winds of Winter again. Regarding the delay, Martin said that it “isn’t done yet.” He continued, “Believe me, it gave me no pleasure to type those words. You’re disappointed, and you’re not alone. My editors and publishers are disappointed, HBO is disappointed, my agents and foreign publishers and translators are all disappointed…but no one could possibly be more disappointed than me.”

After contacting Martin’s agent, Dick P.P. Dangledong, we were able to schedule a phone interview with Martin to find out more.

Billy: Hello, Mr. Martin! We’re big fans of yours at RDF and really appreciate your time.

Martin: Of course. The fans deserve to know the real reason the book isn’t finished.

Billy: And can you tell us why that is?

Martin: I’ve been very distracted these last years. I began losing inspiration and could not decide where to take the story at a certain point, so my nephew suggested I try immersing myself in virtual worlds. I decided to humor him and bought a PlayStation 4.

Billy: Were you inspired by anything you played?

Martin: Oh, so much. One of the first titles I picked up was Shadow of Mordor. I couldn’t put it down. I loved the action: swords penetrating flesh, arrows penetrating skulls, and so on. I loved how the protagonist’s eyes sometimes glowed blue like the White Walkers’ in the Thrones show. I decided I’m going to create a character who is slain by a White Walker, but becomes a sort of human/Walker hybrid instead of a full-fledged wight. This way, he is imbued with the power of the White Walkers while maintaining his humanity. I was also inspired by the idea of the orc, so I created a subterranean humanoid race that happens to have greenish skin. When I get around to writing, I plan to have the hybrid character meet a female ork—“ork” spelled with a “k” of course—with whom he falls in love. Only, the orks don’t have a sense of love, only wanton lust. This way, I can address my only issue with Shadow of Mordor: the lack of sex and nudity.

Billy: That sounds incredibly interesting. You said you haven’t gotten around to writing the characters in?

Martin: Not yet. After Shadow of Mordor I started playing God of War III Remastered. I thought the sex segment was incredibly well done, if a tad brief. The game had me thinking, “What if the Old Gods in my universe existed as physical beings who created the sentient races through copulation?” I jotted down some notes in a ten-minute brainstorming session before deciding to start another game.

Billy: Which was?

Martin: Telltale Games’ Game of Thrones season one. The narrative was great, but I didn’t care for the one scene that begins the morning after two characters had sex. These two characters didn’t feel as…

Billy: [At this point I seem to hear Martin scratching and groping at his groin as he considers how to continue.]

Martin: …As fleshed out as they could have been with the sex included. Some of the impact of future plot developments felt lost to me since I never saw what the characters’ genitals looked like or how well they performed in the sack. I decided to rectify this on behalf of the game’s writers by planning to add several members of Houses Forrester and Whitehill to The Winds of Winter. I contacted HBO and they agreed to include these characters in future seasons of the show. I plan to play the role of Lord Whitehill in the series, who will intimately explore his sexuality. This way, the viewer will better understand the lord’s daughter, Gwyn Whitehill, by seeing how she was conceived.

Billy: Did any other games stand out or inspire you?

Martin: I was able to demo the latest version of the dating sim Super Sex Robottofajjifesuto Ultra Premium Deluxe HD at the latest OcuFes in Japan. The fudge-dispensing, buttocks-shaped peripheral was very responsive to my thrusts, but I found the sex to be gratuitous.

Billy: Do you have any idea when fans might expect to get their hands on The Winds of Winter?

Martin: Probably around late summer, early fall of 2016. It depends how long it takes me to play The Witcher III. I’ve heard the primary female characters are very well developed.

Billy: Well, that’s all we wanted to know. Thank you again for your time.

Martin: Any time. If you need a photo of my schlong so your readers can better understand my situation, I have one here. Please let me know.

Billy Slowmeat

Billy Slowmeat

Billy is the video game journalist of our generation. For Billy, there is no lead too tough to follow…no story too daunting to expose. Billy lives to do one thing: report. Hell, the son of a bitch gets off on it.
Billy Slowmeat