Earlier today Two Crude Dudes were spotted outside of an LA Fitness club in Winter Park, Florida, extracting cans of soda from a Power Cola machine by means of physical assault.
Upon arrival, Winter Park police were thwarted when one Dude threw the other Dude through the cruiser’s windshield before picking up the automobile itself and launching it into the Power Cola machine. Nobody was severely injured.
One observer described the chaos as being like “some real Arnold Schwarzenegger shit.”
Before vacating the scene, the Dudes reportedly taunted the officers by dancing and blowing kisses. The offenders remain at large and are now wanted for vandalism, resisting arrest, and multiple counts of assaulting an officer. Any information on the Dudes’ whereabouts will be rewarded if the tips help lead to an arrest. Included below is a photographic composite of what the Dudes may look like outside of their customary 16-bit architecture.
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